A lesson in communication
July 19, 2008
Our legs tangled, his body lying atop mine. He looked at me and asked “what do you want?”, I bit into his shoulder, unable to speak. We kissed some more, our hands exploring each others bodies and still, I couldn’t get the words out. Here I was, half naked with someone and I was having trouble speaking. How is this possible? We stopped fooling around for a moment while he fetched us some water. It was hot and we were both drenched with sweat. He returned and demanded an answer to his previous question, refusing to kiss me again until I answered. “Communication is SM101″, he argued. My lips throbbed to feel his on mine and so I spoke, timidly, “I want to fuck you”.
I had to force out my answer and thinking back this morning, I have no idea why. Why was it so hard for me to tell him what I wanted? I’ve certainly had no problem showing people what I want in the past but when asked outright, I freeze up. I feel like I’ve blamed my ex for this problem, attributing my fear of telling him of my new found kinkiness to the fact that he is painfully vanilla but nope, it’s me. I even have this problem with friends with whom I have no sexual relationship, feeling the need to keep some of my actions and even this blog private from people who I know will accept me regardless. Guess I’ve got some stuff to work on. Hooray for introspection.
It’s also been pointed out to me that I apologize entirely too much, for things I have no control over, for things I have no reason to apologize for. I’m just now beginning to catch myself when I do it and hopefully I will rid myself of the habit.
Cheryl Stewart mentioned last night, one of the things necessary to go deeper into bottoming is taking personal responsibility in making your needs and limits known. I feel like, for me, this is a lesson that I can take and apply to more than just my sex life. Guess we will see where this goes.
And I also feel the need to say thank you to the boy who helped me realize the above for showing me an absolutely splendid and hot night.
cute boy update
July 18, 2008
So thanks to Lolita I got in touch with cute volunteer boy. After IMing back and forth for the majority of last night we made plans to meet for a slice at Rays, took a walk around the West Village, and met up with the gang at Happy Ending. Spent the evening listening to erotica being read aloud and stealing kisses back and forth. It’s been ages since I spent an evening just kissing someone and it was much enjoyed.
Really had a lovely evening and am snuggling into bed (er… couch) wishing I were not sharing the living room with visiting friends and that the Hitachi were much quieter.
Events
July 16, 2008
So it is nearing 3am and I am still wide awake. Normally I’d take a hot bath and pull out my Hitachi but I am staying with friends til I move back home. Don’t think they’d be pleased to find me getting myself off on their couch.
Things are going okay here. I am not regretting the decision I made to end my relationship and if anything, I feel like I made the right choice. While he is a great guy I don’t think he is a match for me anymore. He was a match for me 6 years ago when we started dating and I thought I was vanilla but not a match for me now that I an exploring the kinkier aspects of my sexuality.
And speaking of kink, the next few days should be filled with kinky friends and kinky events. I will be meeting Viviane, Furry Girl,Marcello, and Wendy at Happy Ending for In the Flesh on Thursday for drinks and erotic readings. Come by and buy me a drink!
Friday I want to go to a class on deep bottoming presented by Lesbian Sex Mafia but I am a little apprehensive since I haven’t been to any of their events. I am sure they are lovely but I hate to go to a new place alone and not have a base of people whom I feel comfortable with. I am leaning towards yes right now though. 
I should probably attempt sleep soon. Don’t want to sleep the entire day tomorrow.
Anyone know of any upcoming events I would enjoy?
Sugasm #140
July 15, 2008
So update, I broke up with my fiance. I am moving back to Georgia in a few weeks. Friends in NYC who want to hang, send me an email or get in touch via FetLife. I may not be writing a whole lot for a few weeks. Unless I have some incredibly hot I-just-broke-off-a-long-term-relationship sex. And the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim. Unless that cute boy that was volunteering at Leather Pride Night pops up and wants to give it a go…
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #141? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
“Are you a sex blogger or a sexy blogger?”
“It builds a community that I am so proud to be part of.”
The J Word
“And while you’re with her, I’ll be with him.”
Transcending moment
”It’s that place between fear and arousal, and they are so very closely related.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank
Editor’s Choice
Chill Pleasure
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
BDSM & Fetish
Bathroom bang
Bros Not Hoes - F/m Spanking Video Clip
Cock training
Galerías de spanking: Spanking Server
Games Grown Ups Play
The Most Amazing Sex (and I didn’t come)
Mr. and Mrs. Kink Have Great Sex (Again)
My First Ever Fetish Photography Shoot & Other Wonderful Things
New spanking gallerie - Two girls spanked
Religion and BDSM
Rope
TES Fest 2008 was fabulous!
Your Slut
Sex Advice
Ask Miss Bliss-How Do I Know If A Girl Likes Me?
Fetish Safety - Branding
The Kivin Method: Guaranteed Orgasm for Women
Erotic Writing and Experiences
Advanced Exhibitionism
Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 2
Club Tantra: My Experience, Unabridged
Distraction
Fucking no foreplay
Getting to fuck the neighbor 9
Him
HNT - Peach
Insanity never felt so good
Interludes - part 1
Memoir Of A Married Woman
Popping His Cherry
Re: Dinner Last Night
“Red Bottoms” (Complete)
Sloppy Seconds, Then Thirds
That Time of the Month
Whiskey Kisses (unedited)
Sex Work
Sex Worker Solidarity: Catalina
Happy Thoughts on Being a Phonesex Op…
Stamp on my forehead saying “ask me about your fetish”
Sex & Politics
Natalia Antonova on Objectification and Desire
Teen Sex: The New After-School Special?
Women Enjoy Relative Sexual Freedom this 4th of July
NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Bedroom Radio #18: Artemis Hunter and the Silver Bullet
Calstar Spanking - Severe deep stripe marks
Cheerleader is tired in gangbang video
Free video audition of Amsterdam sex performer
Half-Nekkid and Getting Shaved
HNT - A bit cheeky
HNT - Purple Lace
Making Love to the Camera
Mz Berlin Took This Picture Of Herself In Her New Wasp Creation Corset
Sex Humor
Top 6 Reasons for Not Shaving Your Beaver
Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Catalina loves Lochai
Comstock Films
Drink Semen for Better Health
Interview about spanking erotica with Spanked contributor Teresa Noelle Roberts
January Seraph Is A Hot Femdom Dominating Jade Indica In Lesbian Latex Role Play
The Monday Buzz: The Bandito
Penny Flame Fucks A Handyman With A Strap-On and Feeds Him His Own Cum
Product Research: Blow Job Dildo
Yes! Yes! Yes! Personal Lubricant
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Be nice… until it is time to not be nice…
Finding out your good friends are swingers
Naughty Text Messages and Perverted Friends Makes Life Fun
Sex Advice Review: “Tips to Better Sex and Sleep”
Silence.[From Sugasm #140]
Sugasm #139
July 12, 2008
I am not included this week in the Sugasm, didn’t get a chance to submit when I was visiting back home, but I wanted to post because I respect so many of these bloggers.
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #140? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Flunking A Call
“I fell silent again and tried to think. What did he want?”
Revision
“He seemed… perfect. ”
“I don’t do it for society, for anyone who will or will not be seeing it. I do it for me.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank
Editor’s Choice
Exploitation, objectification and breaking the law…
More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Be The Man Other Men Envy, Be PullJoy
Catalina loves Her Latest BILF List
HNT - Venus and Mars
Of Pillow Fights & Panty Showing
The Way To a Man’s Heart - A Play in One Act
What is with all of the Swinging? - Truth or Fiction
Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
A Hot Medical Femdom Scene With Mz Berlin, Kayla Paige, and A Dirty Sponge Gag
I Want It! I Want It! I Want It! It’s At Exquisite Restraints Corsets
The Liberator Sex Wedge: Form, Function, Fucktacular. I love it.
New Toy Alert
Not Your Regular Vibe
Sex, Drugs & Baseball
Why inviting bi-girls to brunch is the best
Will You Carry Me Over The Threshold?
Zen And The Art Of Pornographic Madness
Sex & Politics
All Wound Up and No One to Spring On
NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Cheerleader is fucked hard donkey style
Happy Fourth of July -HNT
Half-Nekkid on the Road to Hell
InFocus Girls
Pornsaint Madison Young
Property of Lady Evyl
Sandy Summers in red lingerie
Sundaycore
Thank you for the flowers
Tila Tequila Totally Nude
Sex Work
Meet Lew, My CockSucking CumEating StrapOn Slut
BDSM & Fetish
Agony of Ecstasy: the Ruined Orgasm
And marie Moaned
FLOG memories
Get a Load of These Gams!
Impromptu Ravishment Play
Miss Lioness
The Piggiest Pigs at Leather Retreat
Switchy Thoughts on Spiritual Domination
Testing the New Implements
Erotic Writing and Experiences
2nd Blogiversary
Becoming
The Cam Lover pays to fist a 19 year-old Ass
Fiction: Taxicab Confessional
Four: of weeks and wantings
Friend with benefits- properly fucked
Getting to fuck the neighbor 5
Good weekend
Gustav Klimt Nachlass
I love the way you cuddle!
Kung Fu Theater
Monday’s Slut Journal
More bloody married people and doctor/patient roleplay…..
My first visit to Manbar
Night Ride: Trigger’s Bike
Permanent haze
The prize for working
Traction Bound
links for 2008-07-11
July 11, 2008
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I just wanted to publicly share this, to say how outraged I am and that it’s not okay. No matter what you may think about someone, there is a time to share your thoughts, and there is a time not to.
links for 2008-07-10
July 10, 2008
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One might raise an eyebrow hearing the words “adult novelty” and “child” in the same sentence, but online retailer Sinless Touch’s philanthropic Adopt A Child program is about doing the right thing by providing care and education to “adopted” children.
HNT #4
July 10, 2008
Not feeling very photogenic today so this is all you get. Happy HNT, y’all!
Support Lochai
July 9, 2008
From CatalinaLoves
It’s no secret that I have a ridiculous crush on Lochai, and maybe a part of it is because I fell in love with his work as an artist. On top of all that I got to actually meet him yesterday and put my hands on his… prints (I know what you thought I was going to say!)
I know a lot of my readers are people who share my opinion about Lochai’s erotic and bondage images and also share my belief in supporting the art and the artists they love. That’s what this post is all about. Your opportunity to own real art while supporting the arts. It’s a win-win situation.
Lochai has a few gallery shows coming up. He talks about them in the interview we did recently here. In response to my question about his upcoming gallery shows, in particular the exhibition at the World Erotic Art Museum in Miami Beach, FL, this is what he had to say:
Wow…. To hang in a Museum is an amazing thing. To hang in this Museum is even a greater compliment in that the owner/curator, Naomi Wilzig, does not normally collect photography & has only just started to. She has thousands of painting, sculptures and other various articles that have moved her over the years and only a few photographs including ones from a good friend of mine, BT Charles. She has had many one person displays exhibited in the galleries in the 3 years WEAM has been open, but she asked me to be the first photographer. I am also a local so this adds to the pride I feel. Art gallery shows are wonderful but to say that you are displayed in a museum, for me that is something I am very proud of. I will also have Beach Bound added to the permanent collection. I was also the first heterosexual male artist to have a special “Guest Gallery” show that lasted a year of 30 of my images in the Leather Archives & Museum in Chicago http://www.leatherarchives.org/ which just came down in May.
So now here we are, it’s almost time for Lochai’s big show and now it’s time for me to get involved in the only way I know how. I’m holding my own Lochai Pledge Drive to help support Lochai’s upcoming gallery projects. He has never done this before and he may never do this again, it’s truly exclusive (and it will give your grandkids something to bring onto The Antique’s Roadshow!) Think of it is the kinky version of the PBS Pledge Drive - you know, you donate some money and they give you a nice gift to say thank you.
Here’s the rundown - you donate to Lochai’s upcoming shows. Donations are simple and easy - log into PayPal and use Lochai’s email address (nawalochai@kirinawa.com). You can even use your credit card. In return, as a thank-you gift, you receive one of Lochai’s signed prints. The print you will receive will be chosen by Lochai and is from his award-winning gallery.
Donate $25 and receive a signed 4×6 print. This is perfect to frame and put on your nightstand
Donate $50 and receive a signed 5×7 print. This is a perfect size to have on your desk, no?
Donate $75 and receive two signed 5 x 7 prints - a nice little complimentary set for your boudoir. I love the idea of having two complimentary, beautiful images, nicely framed and hung next to each other. MDS says he thinks it would be neat if you’re a couple to frame them and then put one on each of your nightstands. I love MDS. He’s so clever!
Donate $100 and receive one signed 8×10 print - perfect to hang on the wall. Actually Lochai gave me an 8×10 as a gift yesterday and it’s matted, framed, and perfectly placed on my desk, so an 8×10 is really a nice size - you can hang it or place it somewhere special.
For donations more generous than $100.00, please contact Lochai directly. Those donors will be considered sponsors and will not only have their name associated with the show as a sponsor, but as a thank-you gift will receive a signed, limited edition print in a larger size. Again, just contact Lochai directly to discuss this option. He’s a very friendly man!
links for 2008-07-07
July 7, 2008
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“That’s all right,” she said, still covered in bubbles. Catherine’s voice was like warm syrup on a cold morning. “Stay with your feelings. Talk to me. It’s OK.”
